bullshitting Quotes

Patrick Denham: Most of the Wall Street jackasses that I bust, they're to the manor born. Their fathers are douchebags, just like their fathers before them. But you... You, Jordan, you got this way all on your own.
Jordan Belfort: Did I?
Patrick Denham: Good for you, little man.
Jordan Belfort: Little man?

[laughs]
Jordan Belfort: Me, the little man?
Patrick Denham: Let me tell you something else. Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here, this is one of the nicest boats that I've ever been on. I gotta tell you.
Jordan Belfort: I bet it is.
Patrick Denham: And you wanna know what I was just thinking too? The

fucking hero I'm gonna be back at the office when the Bureau seizes this fucking boat. Because, I mean, fuckety fuck fuck, Jordan, look at this thing! It's beautiful! And you got the beautiful girls there. It's wonderful.
Jordan Belfort: [laughing] All right, get the fuck off my boat.
Patrick Denham: I'm sure we'll be seeing each other real soon.

Jordan Belfort: I'm sure. Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable, ugly fucking wives. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime.

Freb: The corner of Wiltern and Wetherley... Tumbler messed up, he said the Porsche should be at the corner of Wiltern and Wetherly.
Kip: There it is.
Mirror Man: You're bullshitting me, right? 9024 Wiltern?
Kip: I gotta get my tool.
Mirror Man: Kip! He ain't bullshitting, man!

[Kip opens the boot, retrieves half a brick]
Mirror Man: Kip that's not a tool... that's a damn brick! Kip, man we gonna use a brick, we may as well call prison and make reservations!

Jake: We'll put the band back together, do a few gigs, we get some bread. Bang! Five thousand bucks.
Elwood: Yeah, well, getting the band back together might not that be that easy, Jake.
Jake: What are you talking about?
Elwood: They split, they all took straight jobs.
Jake: Yeah, so

you know where they are. You said you were gonna keep in touch with them.
Elwood: Well... I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited or even wrote you, huh?
Jake: They're not the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if

we were gonna play again.
Elwood: Well, what was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Jake: You lied to me.
Elwood: It wasn't a lie, it was just bullshit.

[first lines]
Evelyn Mercer: Ok, Darnell, so the candy just happened to jump into your pocket, huh? Well I don't think so. Samir's going to call the police right now. Samir, the police!
Darnell: Please don't call the police, man, please!
Evelyn Mercer: That's what happens when you shoplift. There's consequences.

Darnell: But it's just some damn candy! I don't wanna go to jail!
Evelyn Mercer: Well you can probably get away with stealing sometimes, Darnell, but sooner or later you're gonna get caught. Is that the way you want to lead your life?
Darnell: No.
Evelyn Mercer: I happen to believe you're worth more. But you

gotta believe it, Darnell.
Darnell: I hear you, Miss Evelyn.
Evelyn Mercer: Are you bullshitting me?
Darnell: No, Ma'am.
Evelyn Mercer: Well you better not be, you hear me?
Darnell: Yes, Ma'am.
Evelyn Mercer: Ok. Now you tell Samir.

Darnell: I won't steal anymore, sir.
Samir: Alright.
[hangs up the phone]
Evelyn Mercer: Boy, did you get lucky.