What I love about 'Criminal Minds' is that Morgan is an ex-marine, ex-SWAT. To do those things you have to be a pretty badass dude. It's a great incentive to stay in shape.

Budd: That gentled ya down some. Ain't nobody a badass with a double dose of rock salt that deep in their tits. Not havin tits as fine or big as yours, I can't even imagine how bad that shit must sting... yet I don't want to, neither.
[the Bride spits blood into Budd's face. He wipes it away and returns the favor with a long, foul stream of tobacco juice]
Budd: I win.

[special edition]
[during the drop to LV-426]
Private Hudson: I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the *ultimate* badass! State of the badass art! You do not wanna fuck with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Vwap! Fry half a city with this puppy.
We got tactical smart missiles, phased plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...
Sergeant Apone: Knock it off, Hudson. All right, gear up.

Jenko: Are you ready for a lifetime of being absolutely badass motherfuckers?
Schmidt: Oh, I am.
[Scene cuts. They are patroling the park on bicycles]
Jenko: I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions... and less homeless people doodooing everywhere.

[the Twins, in ice cream truck mode, enter a NEST warehouse]
Skids: Badass ice cream truck coming through... scuse me, scuse me...
[New alternate modes are seen: two cars, green and red]
Skids: Yeah, baby! It's upgrade time!
Mudflap: Yes, sir! This is my booty call right here. Time to get my sexy on with the green...
[does a dance]
Skids: Ah, no, green is MINE! I call green!
[tackles Mudflap and flips him over]
Skids: I got the green!
Mudflap: That hurt, man!
Skids: It's supposed to hurt, it's an ass-kickin'!

[last lines]
Dave Lizewski: [voice-over] When Mindy left, that's when I finally understood where my life was going. Just like it had to eventually happen, that real people would try to be superheroes, eventually it had to end too. Superheroes can't exist in the real world for a reason. It's because the real world needs real heroes, and not some punk in a wetsuit playing
dress-up, but a genuine badass who can really kick ass.