Morons Quotes

Jeffrey Goines: Sorry. Uh, sorry. I, I, I got a little agitated. The thought of, uh, escape had crossed my mind, and then suddenly - suddenly - suddenly I felt like bending the fucking bars back, and ripping out the goddamn window frames and eating them - yes, *eating* them! Leaping, leaping, leaping! Colonics for everyone! All right! You dumbasses. I'm a mental patient. I'm

*supposed* to act out! Wait'll you morons find out who I am! My father's gonna be really upset, and when my father gets upset, the ground SHAKES! My father is God! I worship my father!

Mr. Turlington: [Enters the darkroom] How long have you been in here, Mason?
Mason: Not sure.
Mr. Turlington: I'm sure: All class. Did you complete your image diary?
Mason: Not yet.
Mr. Turlington: Completed your digital contact sheet?
Mason: Not quite, but, I

mean, it's not gonna take me long.
Mr. Turlington: "Not yet." "Not quite." Darkroom time is extracurricular. I mean, technically, you don't ever have to be in here these days. And certainly not until you've completed your assignments. That's the deal.
Mason: [Sarcastically] Sorry.
Mr. Turlington: I'm worried about you, Mason.

Mason: [laughs] Why is that?
Mr. Turlington: I'll tell you why: The images you're turning in, they're cool. You're looking at things in a really unique way. Got a lot of natural talent.
Mason: Thanks.
Mr. Turlington: Yeah, but that and 50 cents will just get you a cup of coffee in this old world. I've

met a LOT of talented people over the years. How many of them made it professionally without discipline, commitment and really good work ethic?
Mason: [Shrugs]
Mr. Turlington: I can tell ya. I can count it on two fingers:
[Makes A-ok hand gesture]
Mr. Turlington: Zero. It's not gonna happen for you, Mason. The world is

too competitive. There are too many talented people who are willing to work hard; and a buttload of morons who are untalented, who are more than willing to surpass you. As a matter of fact, a lot of them are sitting in that classroom out there right now. Hm? You know what they're doing? They're doing their assignments. Which is what you're supposed to be doing, but you're not. You're in here. Now,

why is that? You're special, Mason?
Mason: No, but, I mean, the things you're talking about, like, work ethic or whatever, I feel like I do work pretty hard. I spend the hold weekend taking pictures a lot of times.
Mr. Turlington: You like football, Mason?
Mason: Not really.
Mr. Turlington: Yeah, I know

you don't. That's why I've just assigned you to shoot the football game tonight. Okay? Starts at 7.30, I want you to get there early. I want you to shoot a full card, 300 images. I want 'em downloaded, I want 'em sorted, and I wanna see 'em very first thing Monday, okay? Wanna know why I'm doing this?
Mason: I guess.
Mr. Turlington: Who do you wanna

be, Mason? What do you wanna do?
Mason: I wanna take pictures. Make art.
Mr. Turlington: Any dipshit can take pictures, Mason. Art, that's special. What can you bring to it that nobody else can?
Mason: That's what I'm trying to find out.
Mr. Turlington: Try harder. Hey, maybe in 20 years you can call

old Mr. Turlington, and you can say: "Thank you, sir, for that terrific darkroom chat we had that day."
[Walks out of the darkroom]
Mr. Turlington: Get back to class and do your work.

Osbourne Cox: And you're my wife's lover?
Ted Treffon: [shaking his head] No.
Osbourne Cox: Then what are you doing here?
[pause]
Osbourne Cox: I know you. You're the guy from the gym.
Ted Treffon: I'm not here representing HardBodies.
Osbourne Cox: Oh,

yes. I know very well what you represent.
[pause]
Osbourne Cox: You represent the idiocy of today.
Ted Treffon: No, I don't represent that either.
Osbourne Cox: Yeah. You're the guy at the gym when I asked about that moronic woman.
Ted Treffon: She's not a moron.
Osbourne

Cox: You're in league with that moronic woman. You are part of a league of morons.
Ted Treffon: No. No.
Osbourne Cox: Oh, yes. You see, you're one of the morons I've been fighting my whole life. My whole fucking life. But guess what... Today, I win.
[gun shot]

[car tyres screech to a halt outside. The Simpsons' silhouettes as the family make their way to the church door. Their conversation can also be heard]
Marge Simpson: I hate being late!
Homer Simpson: Well I hate going. Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way, by praying like hell on my death bed.
Marge Simpson: Homer, they

can hear you inside!
Homer Simpson: Relax! Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phoney-baloney God!
[the family enter the church to total silence and angry looks. They make their way to their pew]
Homer Simpson: How ya doin'? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.

Percy Garris: [singing] Oh don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike / Crossed the high mountains with her lover Ike / Two yoke of oxen and big yellow dog / Called Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog / Hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay, hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay / Shanghai ran off and the cattle all died / last piece of bacon that morning was

fried...
Butch Cassidy: [interrupting] I think they're in the trees up ahead.
Sundance Kid: In the bushes on the left.
Butch Cassidy: I'm telling you they're in the trees up ahead.
Sundance Kid: You take the trees, I'll take the bushes.
Percy Garris: Will you two beginners cut it

out.
Butch Cassidy: Well, we're just trying to spot an ambush, Mr. Garris.
Percy Garris: Morons. I've got morons on my team. Nobody is going to rob us going down the mountain. We have got no money going down the mountain. When we have got the money, on the way back, then you can sweat.

Ari Gold: I thought you already were his manager, because believe me, I would not put up with this much shit from anyone who wasn't.
Eric: Yeah, I know I am, but I want to do it for real, you know? I want to have the conversation, lock it in.
Ari Gold: So you come to me for advice. I'm gonna fucking cry. All right, here's what you

do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.
Eric: He doesn't need me that much.
Ari Gold: Of course he doesn't need you. You're fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point.

Eric: Then what is the point, Ari?
Ari Gold: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty, baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful and wear the crown.