Van Helsing Quotes

Carl: [while stocking Van Helsing's kit for the trip to Transylvania] I don't know. You could blind your enemies, char-broil a herd of chargind wildebeests - use your imagination.
Van Helsing: No, I'm going to use yours - you're coming with me.
Carl: Oh, to hell and be damned I am!
Van Helsing: Carl, you just

cursed! Not well mind you but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.
Carl: Actually I'm just a friar so I can curse all I want... dammit!

Van Helsing: There's something down here, it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. I'd say it's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall and he has a bad gimp in his right leg and, ah, 3 copper teeth.
Anna Valerious: How do you know he has copper teeth?
Van Helsing: 'Cause he's standing right behind

you.
[shouts]
Van Helsing: Move!

Carl: Now, you won't turn into a werewolf until your first full moon. That's two days from now. So we have 48 hours to find a solution. But you'll still be able to fight Dracula's hold over you until the final stroke of midnight.
Van Helsing: Sounds like I have nothing to worry about.
Carl: Oh, my God, you should be terrified!

Van Helsing: Thank you.
Carl: Sorry.

Carl: So you can remember everything about your life from the last seven years, but nothing before that?
Van Helsing: Not now, Carl.
Carl: There must be something?
Van Helsing: [dead serious] I remember fighting the Romans at Masada.
Carl: That was in 73 A.D.
Van

Helsing: You asked.

Van Helsing: Now, Carl, whatever you do, don't stare at him.
[he opens the coach door, revealing the Frankenstein Monster shackled into the seat, struggling and snarling]
Carl: I'm staring at him.
[quickly turns away]
Carl: Is that a man?
Van Helsing: Actually, it's seven men. Parts of them,

anyway.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: There, there, my lovelies. Do not worry, I shall find another bride.
[Dracula's brides are appalled]
Verona: What?
Verona: Have you no heart?
Count Vladislaus Dracula: No! I have no heart, I feel no love. Nor fear, nor joy, nor sorrow. I am hollow... and I will live forever.

Aleera: Oh, my lord...
Verona: It is not so bad.
[Dracula's mood changes on a dime, and he begins to laugh]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I'm at war with the world! And every living soul in it! But soon... the final battle will begin.
Aleera: Do we mean so little to you?
[said before Verona

asks if Dracula has no heart]

[after Van Helsing's first, failed attempt to kill Dracula]
Anna Valerious: A silver stake? A crucifix? What, did you think we haven't tried everything before? We've shot him, stabbed him, clubbed him, sprayed him with holy water, staked him through the heart, and STILL he lives! Do you understand? No-one knows how to kill Dracula!
Van Helsing: Well,

I could have used that information a little earlier.

Carl: [after saving the woman from the vampire children] They've all died.
Barmaid: Oh, thank you! You saved me.
[kisses him on the cheek]
Barmaid: How can I repay you?
[Carl leans in and whispers something in her ear]
Barmaid: But you can't do that! You are a monk!
Carl:

Actually, I'm a just a friar.

[the Werewolf arrives back at Castle Frankenstein and lands next to Dracula, growling menacingly. Dracula ignores him]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Werewolves are such a nuisance during their first full moon, so hard to control.
[just as the Werwolf is about to lunge at him, he stops and transforms back to Velkan, writhing in pain. Dracula strides majestically past him]

Count Vladislaus Dracula: I send you on a simple errand, to find out who our new friend is, and you have to stop for a little visit with your sister.
Velkan: Leave her out of this, Count! She doesn't know your secret, and I am soon to take it to my grave.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Don't wish for death so quickly. I intend for

you to be quite useful.
Velkan: I would rather die than help you.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Oh, don't be boring, everybody who says that dies.