Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.
There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists.
Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
A lot of people don't realize this, but probably the one person that gets made fun of in 'South Park' more than anybody is my dad. Stan's father, Randy - my dad's name is Randy - that's my drawing of my dad; that's me doing my dad's voice. That is just my dad. Even Stan's last name, Marsh, was my dad's stepfather's name.
Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever.
The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act.
We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.'
If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave.
I can feel myself dying inside.
When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything.
We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.
If you're famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don't.
We have it, we're lucky enough that we've created a show where it's not about... a family, or a kid, it's about a town.
I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny.
Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?
When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh.
We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves.
My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut.
Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper.
Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective.
