
Michael Williams: You know what? I kicked the fu... I'm sorry it's fucked up. It's fucked up but I kicked that fucking map into the creek yesterday! It was useless! I kicked that fucker into the creek!
[laughs hysterically]
Heather Donahue: I fucking hope he's kidding.
Michael Williams: WAHOO! WOW!
Joshua
Leonard: Mike...
Michael Williams: [laughing] Holy shit.
Heather Donahue: I really fucking hope he's kidding.
Joshua Leonard: Mike are you kidding?
Heather Donahue: I really fucking hope he's kidding.
Joshua Leonard: Mike, are you fucking kidding?
Michael
Williams: [laughing] I'm sorry, man.
Heather Donahue: You have gotta be kidding me. You have gotta fucking be kidding me!
Joshua Leonard: Is this some fucking game?
[shoves Mike]
Michael Williams: Get the fuck off me man!
[the two scuffle]
Heather Donahue: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU
OUTTA YOUR FUCKING MIND?
Michael Williams: No I'm not outta my mind! The map wasn't doing shit all day!
Heather Donahue: DO YOU REALIZE - NOT TO YOU - BUT I KNEW WHAT THE FUCK THAT MAP SAID!
Michael Williams: I'm sorry!
Heather Donahue: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
Michael
Williams: I'm sorry!
Heather Donahue: You are a fucking asshole! And if we...
Michael Williams: The map wasn't doing shit all day!
Heather Donahue: If we get hurt or if we die up here it is your fucking fault! It is YOUR... FUCKING... FAULT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I can't believe you could be such an ASSHOLE! WHAT THE
FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?

Josh Leonard: I see why you like this video camera so much.
Heather Donahue: You do?
Josh Leonard: It's not quite reality. It's like a totally filtered reality. It's like you can pretend everything's not quite the way it is.

Josh Leonard: OK, here's your motivation. You're lost, you're angry in the woods, and no one is here to help you. There's a fucking witch and she keeps leaving shit outside your door. There's no one here to help you! She left little trinkets, you fucking took one of them, she ran after us. There's no one here to help you! We walked for 15 hours today, we ended up in the same
place! There's no one here to help you, THAT'S your motivation! THAT'S YOUR MOTIVATION!

Michael Williams: [sees dozens of stick-men hanging from trees] No redneck is this creative.

Heather Donahue: How's east?
Michael Williams: East?
Heather Donahue: Yeah, we've been going south all this time. How's east?
Michael Williams: Wicked Witch of the West, Wicked Witch of the East. Which one was bad?
Heather Donahue: Wicked Witch of the West was the bad one.
Michael Williams: Then we should go east.

Heather Donahue: [after seeing something in the trees] Oh my God! What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that?

Joshua Leonard: I heard two noises coming from two separate areas of space over there. One of them could have been an owl, but the other one sounded like a cackling.
Heather Donahue: No way!
Joshua Leonard: Yeah, it was like a serious cackling.
Heather Donahue: See, my problem is that I sleep like a fucking
rock.
Michael Williams: If I heard a cackling, I would have shit in my pants!

[Josh and Heather are talking about "Gilligan's Island."]
Michael Williams: Let's not call him "the Captain," you illiterate TV people. It's "the Skipper."

Heather Donahue: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Heather Donahue: [Pointing the video camera at Mike's chest] It's warm out today so this is the first time that we're seeing Mike's chest. It's really hard to pick up on video actually. Mike has really sporadic hair patterns on his chest. It's like: blank... hairy... blank... hairy.
Michael Williams: You should see my ass.

[Why the woods aren't big enough to get lost in]
Heather Donahue: Because this is America! We've exhausted all of our natural resources!