111 South Park Quotes (2025) #3

South Park

Cartman: Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.

South Park

Jimmy: Knock, knock.
Cartman: Who's there?
Jimmy: Interrupting cow.
Cartman: Interrupting cow wh...
Jimmy: [interrupting] Mooo!

South Park

Cartman: ...my mom lied to me just like your parents lied to you and now where poor like Kenny's family
[Kenny walks over to comfort Cartman]
Cartman: Don't touch me Kenny.

South Park

Mr. Slave: Oh, Jesus Christ.

South Park

[about Jews]
Priest: They crucified Our Lord and Savior. If you don't go to hell for crucifying Our Savior, then what the hell DO you go to hell for?

South Park

Eric Cartman: I got my period.

South Park

Cartman: Oh, look what I did with Kyle's money. I had it changed into singles so I could roll around in it like this. Oh, Kyle's money.

South Park

Mr. Slave: Oh. I never should have shoved all those poor animals up my ass.

#never

South Park

Mrs Crabtree: Hurry up! We're running late.
Stan: Ahh we're always running late, you fat hog.
Mrs Crabtree: What did you say?
Stan: I wish I could go to Prauge!
Mrs Crabtree: Yeah. Me too.

South Park

Chef: James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!

South Park

Fat Abbot: Hey, hey, hey, what's goin' down, y'all?
Rudy: Man, Fat Abbot, what you doin' on this side of the hood?
Fat Abbot: You know something, Rudy, you're like school in summer time.
Rudy: School in summertime?
Fat Abbot: Yeah, bitch, school in summertime. Open up your fucking ears, you fucking ho or I'll pop your bitch ass.
Mushmouth: I'm-a pop-a you-a

bitch-a ass-a too-ba, Bitch-a.

South Park

Eric Cartman: [Cartman tries to get invited to the girls' party]
[in a false girl's voice]
Eric Cartman: "Oooh, there's Cartman, we should invite him to the party for sure... "
[as himself]
Eric Cartman: Fuck you, May, fuck you, Annie, fuck you, BeBe, fuck you, whatever your name is, and fuck you, bitch!

South Park

Terrance: Hey Phillip, guess what?
Phillip: What?
Terrance: [Farts] Farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

South Park

Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.

South Park

Mr. Garrison: What do you think, Mr. Marsh? You ready to put a down payment on that baby?
Randy Marsh: Well yeah, but I just had one question about how it works. Well, it seems all the buttons on these front and rear flexi-grips are also found on the side of the vehicle.
Mr. Garrison: Yep.
Randy Marsh: So,

they don't really do anything.
Mr. Garrison: Right.
Randy Marsh: So then, couldn't I just order one that works without going in and out of my ass and mouth?
Mr. Garrison: [pause] ... Well, I guess you could.
Customers: Huh? What's that? What'd he say?

South Park

Butters: This is just like Vietnam, huh fellas? Whoopee!

South Park

Eric Cartman: [after Bebe gets boobs] Well, fuck you, Stan, fuck you, Kyle, and
[shouts]
Eric Cartman: fucky you, Kenny! Bebe, you're still cool!

South Park

Mrs. Crabtree: Sit down or the bunny dies!

South Park

Cartman: The rest of you go get the goods on Stan. His mom grounded him once for setting something on fire. Let's find out what that something was and then lie and say it was a puppy.