Something's Gotta Give Quotes

Zoe: This is really fascinating, what's going on at this table. Let's take you and Erica. You've been around the block a few times. What are you, around 60? 63. Fantastic! Never married, which as we know, if you were a woman, would be a curse. You'd be an old maid, a spinster. Blah, blah, blah. So instead of pitying you, they write an article about you. Celebrate your never

marrying. You're elusive and ungetable, a real catch. Then, there's my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished. Most successful female playwright since who? Lillian Hellmann? She's over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something-forgive me, they want somebody that looks like Marin. The over-50 dating scene is geared

towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men- especially older men- are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.

Erica Barry: I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't great.
Harry: Let's just calm down. I had these plans before I even met you. I mean, I do like seeing you. I do.
Erica Barry: [scoff] Yeah.
Harry: I'm always surprised by it.
Erica

Barry: Surprised by it? What was I thinking?
Harry: I have never lied to you. I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?
Harry: Will you cut me a little slack? My life has just been turned upside down.
Erica Barry: Mine too!

Harry: Well, then let's just each get our bearings.
Erica Barry: I don't want my bearings. I've had my bearings my whole goddamn life. I feel something with you I never really knew existed. Do you know what that's like, after a 20-year marriage to feel something for another person that is so...? That... Oh, Right. Right. Not your problem. God. Do you know

that I've written this, but I never really got it? Do you know what this is?
Harry: No.
Erica Barry: [Erica kisses Harry] This is heartbroken. How's that for impervious.
Harry: You're killing me.
Erica Barry: I just wish that it had lasted more than a week.
Harry: Me too.

Erica Barry: That is a terrible thing to say. You know, the life I had before you I knew how to do that. I could do that forever. But now look at me. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do with all this?
Harry: Erica. Can you wait just a second? The truth is, I... I just... I don't know how to be a boyfriend.
Erica Barry: That's what

you have to say after all of this? That you don't know how to be a boyfriend?
Harry: That's not a small thing.
Erica Barry: [shakes head] Are we done?
Harry: I don't know.
Erica Barry: Oh, my God.
[Erica gets in taxi and drives away]

Erica Barry: [Harry walks in, with her naked] Ahh!
Harry: [Seeing Erica] Oh! Oh.
Erica Barry: No! STOP!
Harry: OH! OOH!
Erica Barry: [Walking behind the door] AAHH! STOP!
Harry: [Hits a wall full of pictures, covering his eyes partly] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, God, am I

sorry?
Erica Barry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Harry: I'm sorry! I didn't see anything. Except maybe a few tits!
[Diane screams and runs away]

Erica Barry: You know what, Harry. If it's all right with you, I'd like to be friends.
Harry Sanborn: Friends? I'm not ready to be your FRIEND!
Erica Barry: Fine, I understand.
Harry Sanborn: And anyway, do you really buy that horseshit that a man and a woman can be friends after they've had sex?

Erica Barry: I'm friends with my ex-husband but then again, we didn't just have sex.
Harry Sanborn: We didn't just have sex either.
Erica Barry: Then what was it? I'd love to know.
Harry Sanborn: Can I email it to ya when I figure it out?

Marin: Are you crying?
Erica Barry: Yeah. It's my new thing. I've gotten abnormally brilliant at it.
Marin: Why? What is it?
Erica Barry: I'm in love. Ain't it great? Seems like I gotta learn how to that... love-them-and-leave-them stuff, you know?
Marin: Oh mom, I hate this. Now do you

get my theory about all this? You gotta self-protect.
Erica Barry: You don't really buy this stuff you say, do you? You don't actually think that you can outsmart getting hurt?
Marin: I think it's worth trying.
Erica Barry: Listen to me. You can't hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out...

maybe you'll become unglued? It's just not a way to live.
Marin: Are you telling me this is good? What's happened to you?
Erica Barry: I think you should consider the possibility that you and I are more alike than you realize. I let someone in, and I had the time of my life.
Marin: I've never had the time of my life.

Erica Barry: I know, baby. And I say this from the deepest part of my heart. What are you waiting for?

Harry Sanborn: I think I'm entering into another phase with this thing. I'm mad at you.
Erica Barry: I think I'm mad at you too.
Harry Sanborn: Good, because I don't LIKE thinking about you all the time and worrying about how you are...
Erica Barry: You... worry about ME?
Harry Sanborn:

Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you. Sometimes worrying about you feels like a full-time job.
Erica Barry: Well I'm doing just fine, so you don't have to work that shift anymore!