Scream Quotes

Stu: Shit...
Billy: What?
Stu: Oh, shit.
Billy: [They go into the kitchen to find Sidney and Mr. Prescott gone] Where are they? Where are they?
Stu: I don't know, Billy, but I'm hurtin', man!
[the phone rings]
Stu: Should I let the machine get it?

Billy: [answers it] Hello?
Sidney Prescott: Are you alone in the house?
Billy: Bitch! You bitch, where the fuck are you?
Sidney Prescott: Not so fast, we're going to play a little game. It's called: Guess who just called the police and reported your sorry motherfucking ass!
[Stu is slowly collapsing to

the floor]
Billy: Find her, you dipshit! Get up!
Stu: I can't, Billy. You already cut me too deep. I think I'm dying here, man!
[Billy gives Stu the phone]
Billy: [whispers] Talk to her. Talk to her.
Stu: Hello?
Sidney Prescott: Ah, Stu, Stu, Stu... What's your motive?

Billy's got one. The police are on their way. What are you going to tell them?
Stu: Peer pressure. I'm far too sensitive.
[Billy takes the phone back]
Billy: I'm going to rip you up, bitch, just like your fucking mother!
Sidney Prescott: You've gotta find me first, you pansy-ass momma's boy!

Billy: Fuck!
[He accidentally hits Stu with the phone]
Stu: Ow! You fuckin' hit me with the phone, dick!

Randy: There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
[crowd boos]
Randy: BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
[crowd cheers and raises their bottles]
Randy: The sin

factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu: I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: I'll be right back.
[crowd cheers]
Randy: See, you push the

laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

Phone Voice: Name the killer in Friday the 13th.
Casey: Jason! Jason! Jason!
Phone Voice: I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer!
Casey: No, it's not. No it's not. It was Jason.
Phone Voice: Afraid not. No way.
Casey: Listen, it was Jason! I saw that movie 20 goddamn

times!
Phone Voice: Then you should know that Jason's mother, Mrs. Voorhees was the original killer. Jason didn't show up until the sequel. I'm afraid that was a wrong answer.
Casey: [Weeping] You tricked me.
Phone Voice: Lucky for you there's a bonus round, but poor Steve... I'm afraid he's OUT!

Sidney Prescott: Why? Why did you kill my mother?
Billy: Why? WHY! You hear that, Stu? I think she wants a motive.
[Stu Chortles]
Billy: Well, I don't really believe in motives, Sid. I mean did Norman Bates have a motive?
Stu: No.
Billy: Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter

like to eat people? DON'T THINK SO! See, it's a lot more scarier when there's no motive, Sid. We did your Mom a favour, Sid. That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her shit all over town like she was Sharon Stone or somethin'.
Stu: Yeah, we put her out of her misery, 'cause let's face Sidney, your mother was no Sharon Stone, hmm?
Billy: Is that

motive enough for you? How about this? Your slut mother was fucking my father, and she's the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me.
[Sid looks astonished]
Billy: How's that for a motive? Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. It certainly fucked you up. It made you have sex with a psychopath.
Stu: That's right. You gave it

up. Now, you're no longer a virgin. You're not a virgin. Now you got to die. Those are the rules.
Billy: So, this game is like a scary movie, Sid. How do you think it's going to end?
Stu: Oh, this is the greatest fun. You're going to love this. We got a surprise for you, Sidney. Yeah, you're going to love this one. It's a scream, baby. Hold a second,

be right back.