If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

Neil Simon
Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

Neil Simon
Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

Neil Simon
You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.