My comedy isn't about being attractive - it's about how the bar of dumb seems so low right now, and I desperately want to raise the bar of dumb just a tiny bit.
If you look at NBC, two of their most successful shows - '30 Rock' and 'Parks And Rec' - are written by women, produced by women, and I think that's the future. Women are the new men.
The women's movement ruined a permanent vacation.
The corporations are shoving just the worst music down everybody's throats, and I think the result of that is that nobody has any taste. They have no bar as to what is good.
Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.
Anything you can do to get more people to come to your live shows is good, because that's where you can really do what you do. Everyone's on the same page, and you don't have to win strangers over as much.
Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.
My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.
I have friends who say, 'You just can't understand what it's like to be a mother until you're a mother.'
Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.
What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
There's something grounded about 'Ugly Americans,' so I think it's good that I'm playing a version of myself in these elevated cartoon circumstances.
I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.
My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'
When I was 23, I moved to Australia to be with this 43-year-old con artist I fell in love with.
There are some die-hard 'Chelsea Lately' fans, and that's where the majority of my fans come from. Chelsea is really helping make comedy audiences hipper and edgier.
Coming from the Midwest, I didn't know about stand-up as an art. I just thought stand-up comedians were old men in suits talking about their wives.
I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians.
For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.
