My brain acts bizarrely and I keep having major mood swings.
This journey of education and breaking stigma around HIV is something that will have a legacy everlasting.
Everything I do, I do it being myself.
I was able to come out as gay publicly because my family had accepted me. They thought nothing of it, and without them I wouldn't have been able to do it. If I didn't have them in my life I would have felt like I had no one.
My sport was my comfort. The routine, the camaraderie, the team... everyone's around you. After rugby you're on your own.
You cannot afford to take any risks where your health is concerned.
I know that my parents sacrificed a hell of a lot to make sure that my brothers and I would have all that we needed.
Part of a sportsman's job is taking banter from the crowd.
My father always pretends to hate Christmas. But when we were children he was the first one waking us up, saying: 'Do you think Father Christmas has been yet?'
I'm not going on a crusade but I'm proud of who I am. I feel I have achieved everything I could ever possibly have hoped to achieve out of rugby and I did it being gay. I want to send a positive message to other gay people that they can do it, too.
It's not about shutting people up or proving them wrong. It's about proving to ourselves what we're about.
Wherever I am in my life, it's because rugby has enabled me to do that.
I knew I was gay at 18, but to come out then would have meant I would not have achieved what I did in rugby. I loved rugby so much and it was so important to me that I made the decision to keep my sexuality secret. People may disagree with that, but it was my belief and my decision.
My parents, my family and my friends all love me and accept me for who I am and, even if the public are upset by this, I know the love of those people who mean the most to me will never change.
Every gay man will tell you that 'coming out' is like a weight lifted from your shoulders and beng able to walk down the street knowing that there is nothing for me to hide has been a liberating experience.
The rugby team is a massive part of the city and generates a real passion but there is also far more to Toulouse. I learned not only to respect the history of the club but also the area and I soon came to appreciate 'buildings and structures.
If you add children to a marriage, they bring a different dimension to the relationship. If I'd had a child and I believed it would have made my child's life better by not coming out, the chances are I wouldn't have done it. Because I think you do whatever it takes to make your child happy.
In Toulouse, you immersed yourself in the culture of the place.
I am not interested in individual glory.
When I got married to my ex-wife, Jemma, I took my vows very, very seriously. I've been brought up with good values and I don't go into anything thinking: this is just for the sake of it - it's not going to last.
