Django Unchained Quotes

Dr. King Schultz: [aiming .45-70 rifle at fleeing Ellis Brittle] You sure that's him?
Django: Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz: Positive?
Django: I don't know.
Dr. King Schultz: You don't know if you're positive?
Django: I don't know what 'positive' means.

Dr. King Schultz: It means you're sure.
Django: Yes.
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, what?
Django: Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.
[Schultz shoots Brittle off his horse]
Django: I'm positive he dead.

Calvin Candie: White cake?
Dr. King Schultz: I don't go in for sweets, thank you.
Calvin Candie: Are you brooding 'bout me getting the best of ya, huh?
Dr. King Schultz: Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.

Calvin Candie: Come again?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin Candie: You doubt he'd approve?
Dr. King

Schultz: Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin Candie: Soft hearted Frenchy?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas is black.

Calvin Candie: [to Django] So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?
Django: Not for top dollar.
Calvin Candie: Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat ass nigger from me, those are the beat ass niggers I want to sell, so...

Django: He don't wanna buy the niggers you wanna sell. He wants the nigger you don't wanna sell.
Calvin Candie: Well, I don't sell the niggers I don't wanna sell.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, you won't sell your best. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so

ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it?
[laughs]
Dr. King Schultz: Who knows what could happen?
Calvin Candie: And what do you consider "ridiculous?"
Dr. King Schultz: For a truly talented specimen, the right nigger? How much would you say, Django?
Django: ...12,000 dollars.

Calvin Candie: Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.

Calvin Candie: Hello. Stephen, my boy!
Stephen: [black house servant exiting the Big House] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, my ass. Who dis nigger up on dat nag?
Calvin Candie: Aw, Stephen, you have nails for breakfast? What's the matter? Why you so ornery? You miss me? Huh?
Stephen: Oh, yes, sir. I miss you like a

hawg miss slop. Like a baby miss mammy titty! I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe! Now, I aks you, who dis nigger on dat nag?
Django: Hey, Snowball. You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me.
Stephen: Just who the hell you callin' 'Snowball,' hoss boy? I'll snatch yo black ass off dat nag down here in the mud so fast make yo

head spin!
Calvin Candie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stephen! Stephen! Let's keep it funny. Django here's a freeman.
Stephen: Dis nigger here?
Calvin Candie: That nigger there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is a another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen. Stephen, this here is Django. You two

oughta hate each other.
Stephen: Calvin, just who the hell is dis nigger you feel's the need to entertain?
Calvin Candie: Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, you are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?
Stephen:

Yes, sir. Him I understands, but I don't know why I got to take lip off dis nigger.
Calvin Candie: You don't have to know why. Do you understand?
Stephen: Yes, sir. I understand.
Calvin Candie: Well, good. They're spending the night. Go open the guest bedrooms and get two ready.
Stephen: [mortified] He

gawn stay in the Big House?
Calvin Candie: Stephen. He's a slaver. It's different.
Stephen: In the Big House?
Calvin Candie: Well, you got a problem with that?
Stephen: Aw, naw, naw. I ain't got no problem with it. If you ain't got no problem with burnin' the bed, the sheets, the pillowcase, and

everything else when this black-ass motherfucker's gone!
Calvin Candie: That is my problem! They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddamn rooms ready!
Stephen: Yes, sir, Monsieur Candie.
Calvin Candie: Go on, now.

Stephen: Cain't believe you brought a nigger to stay in the Big House. Yo daddy's rollin' over in his goddamn grave, right now. Brought a nigger to stay with us. What kinda shit is that?
Calvin Candie: Man, the lip on him! Whoo! He's getting worse and worse. Now, WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER?

Django: You said in seventy-six years on this plantation, you've seen all manner of shit done to niggers but I notice... you didn't mention kneecapping.
[Django shoots Stephen in the kneecap]
Stephen: Oh, God-motherfucking-damn it!
Django: Seventy-six years, Stephen. How many niggers you think you seen come and go? Seven

thousand? Eight thousand? Nine thousand? Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine? Every single word that came out of Calvin Candie's mouth was nothing but horseshit, but he was right about one thing: I am that one nigger in ten thousand.
[He shoots Stephen in the other kneecap]
Stephen: Oh, you son of a bitch! Oh, you motherfucker! Oh, sweet Jesus, let me kill

this nigger!

Big Daddy: [instructing raiding party] Now unless they start shooting first, nobody shoot 'em. That's way too simple for these jokers. We're gonna whoop that nigger lover to death! And I am personally gonna strip and clip that gaboon myself!
[puts on bag]
Big Daddy: Damn! I can't see fuckin' shit outta this thing.
Unnamed Baghead: We ready or

what?
Big Daddy: Naw, hold on, I'm fuckin' with my eye holes.
[rips bag]
Big Daddy: Oh. Oh, shit.
[takes off bag]
Big Daddy: Ah, I just made it worse.
Unnamed Baghead: Who made this goddamn shit?
Other Unnamed Baghead: Willard's wife.
Willard: Well, make your

own goddamn mask!
Big Daddy: Look. Nobody's sayin' they don't appreciate what Jenny did.
Unnamed Baghead: Well, if all I had to do was cut a hole in a bag, I coulda cut it better than this!
Other Unnamed Baghead: What about you, Robert? Can you see?
Robert: Not too good. I mean, if I don't move my head I can see you

pretty good, more or less. But when I start ridin', the bag's movin' all over, and I - I'm ridin' blind.
Bag Head #2: [rips bag] Shit. I just made mine worse. Anybody bring any extra bags?
Unnamed Baghead: No! Nobody brought an extra bag!

Dr. King Schultz: [after Calvin Candie brings a box into his dining room and takes a human skull out of it] Who is your little friend?
Calvin Candie: This is Ben. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. Old Ben took

care of me. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave

my daddy with a straight razor. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other

sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now if I was holding a skull of a... of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist

in the area of the skull most associated with servility.
[Turns to Django]
Calvin Candie: Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben.

Dr. King Schultz: Well, Brünnhilde was a princess. She was a daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Anyways, Her father is really mad at her.
Django: What she do?
Dr. King Schultz: I can't exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of the mountain.
Django: Broomhilda's on a mountain?

Dr. King Schultz: It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain. And he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And there, Brünnhilde shall remain. Unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.
Django: Does a fella arise?
Dr. King

Schultz: Yes, Django, as a matter of fact, he does. A fella named Siegfried.
Django: Does Siegfried save her?
Dr. King Schultz: [Nods] Quiet spectacularly so. He scales the mountain, because he's not afraid of it. He slays the dragon, because he's not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire... because Brünnhilde's worth it.

Django: I know how he feel.

Django: [gentlemanly] Cora, before you go, will you tell Miss Lara "goodbye"?
Cora: Do what now?
Django: I said, "tell Miss Lara goodbye!"
Cora: Bye, Miss Lara!
Django: [quickly shoots Miss Lara, who is comically blown away into another room] Y'all two run along now!
[Cora and

Sheeba frantically run out of the house]

Dr. King Schultz: Mister Candie, normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye!
[Dr. Schultz turns around to leave with Django and Broomhilda]
Calvin Candie: [Candie sulks in his library chair for a brief moment as

he watches Schultz walk out. He then raises his hand to stop the doctor] Hmm! One more moment, Doctor!
Dr. King Schultz: [stops and faces Candie] What?
Calvin Candie: [Candie raises out of his chair] It's a custom here in the South once a business deal is concluded that the two parties shake hands. It implies good faith...
Dr. King

Schultz: I'm not from the South...
[Schultz turns again]
Calvin Candie: But you are in my house, Doctor! So, I'm afraid I must insist...
Dr. King Schultz: Insist? On what? That I shake your hand?
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz: Then I'm afraid I must insist in the opposite direction!
Calvin

Candie: [Calvin walks closer to the German doctor] You know what I think you are?
Dr. King Schultz: What you think I am? No, I don't!
Calvin Candie: I think you are a bad loser!
Dr. King Schultz: And I think you're an abysmal winner!
Calvin Candie: Never the less, here in Chickasaw County, a

deal ain't done till the two parties have shook hands. Even after all that paper signin', don't mean shit you don't shake my hand.
Dr. King Schultz: And if I don't shake your hand, you're gonna throw away $12,000? I don't think so!
Calvin Candie: Mr. Pooch, if she tries to leave here before this nigger-loving German shakes my hand, you cut her ass

down!
[Butch turns around to Broomhilda and clicks his gun. Django stands in front of Broomhilda to protect her in case she gets shot; he looks at Schultz. Dr. Schultz glares back at Django with an angry look on his face]
Dr. King Schultz: [Dr. Schultz turns back at Candie] You REALLY want me to shake your hand?
Calvin Candie: [Candie holds

out his hand and smirks] I insist!
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, if you insist...
[Schultz smiles and walks up to Candie, pretending to willfully shake his hand; he instead raises a tiny gun hidden under his sleeve and shoots Candie in the chest]