Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Zeus: Why you keep calling me Jésus? I look Puerto Rican to you?
John McClane: Guy back there called you Jésus.
Zeus: He didn't say Jésus. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.
John McClane: Zeus?
Zeus: Yeah, Zeus! As in, father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll

shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?
John McClane: No, I don't have a problem with that.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: [hands Zeus a gun, on the freighter, hiding behind a container] Here take this.
Zeus: How's it work?
John McClane: You don't know how to shoot a gun?
Zeus: Look, all brothers don't know how to shoot guns, you racist motherfucker.
John McClane: Sue me.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: Yippie-kai-yay motherfucker.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

[Zeus and McClane have just stolen a man's car on the highway]
Zeus: [to man] Hey! Who was the 21st President?
Man: Go fuck yourself!

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: You know how to pick this lock?
Zeus: Is this some black-shit again?
John McClane: Hey will you stop that racial shit? Are you a fuckin' locksmith or not?

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

[McClane and Zeus are arguing over how to solve the water jug problem at the water fountain in the park]
John McClane: I'll put my foot up your ass, you dumb, mother...
Zeus: Say it! Say it!
John McClane: What?
Zeus: You were gonna call me a nigger, weren't you?
John McClane: No

I wasn't!
Zeus: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?
John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Zeus: [in Zeus' electric shop] Now, where you goin'?
Dexter: School.
Zeus: Why?
Raymond: To get educated.
Zeus: *Why*?
Dexter: So we can go to college.
Zeus: And why is that important?
Dexter: To get es-pect.

Zeus: RE-spect. Now, who's the bad guys?
Dexter: Guys who sell drugs.
Raymond: Guys who have guns.
Zeus: And who's the good guys?
Dexter: We're the good guys.
Zeus: Who's gonna help you?
Raymond: Nobody.
Zeus: *So

who's gonna help you*?
Dexter: We're gonna help ourselves.
Zeus: And who do we not want to help us?
Dexter, Raymond: White people.
Zeus: That's right. Now get on outta here. Go to school.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: [running to get to the payphone in the park] You know this guy Simon we're talking to?
Zeus: Yeah.
John McClane: I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed off about it.
Zeus: Wait a minute. You mean to tell me I'm in this

shit 'cause some white cop threw some white asshole's brother off a roof?

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Inspector Cobb: [to Simon] I can appreciate your feelings for McClane. But believe me, the jerk isn't worth it. He's stepped on so many toes in this department, by this time next month he's gonna be a security guard. His own wife wants nothing to do with him, and he's about two steps shy of becoming a full-blown alcoholic.
John McClane: [whispering] One

step, *one* step.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

[about to call Simon with the answer to another riddle]
Zeus: No, wait, wait! It's a trick. It's a trick.
John McClane: What d'you mean?
Zeus: I forgot about the man.
John McClane: What man? Fuck the man! We got ten seconds here!
Zeus: He said, "how many were going to St. Ives,"

right? The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!" The guy and his wives aren't going anywhere.
John McClane: What are they doing?
Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moor! How the hell should I know?

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: [while arguing over the water jug problem at the park's fountain] I'll tell you what your problem is, you don't like me 'cause you're a racist!
Zeus Carver: What?
John McClane: You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white!
Zeus Carver: I don't like you because you're gonna get me *killed*!


Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Zeus: [after stealing the Business Man's car] That guy was pissed.
John McClane: He'll feel better when he looks in the back seat.
Zeus: Shit! That was *my* gold bar!

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: [to terrorists in a tunnel] Hi, fellas. Mickey O'Brien, aqueduct security. Hey, listen, we got a report of a guy coming through here with, uh, eight reindeer.
[shoots the terrorists]
John McClane: Yeah, they said he was a jolly, old, fat guy with a snowy, white beard. Cute little red and white suit. I'm surprised you didn't see him.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Zeus: [slowly walking up to John, seeing the billboard his wearing has an offensive phrase towards African Americans] Morning.
John McClane: Good morning.
Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has

either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.
[John yawns]
Zeus: Hey! I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do they will kill you, you understand? You are about to have a very bad day.
John McClane: Tell me about it.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: [opens door of dump truck] You're a truck driver?
Jerry Parks: No I'm a beautician. Of course I'm a truck driver!

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

John McClane: [about to enter the subway station to answer Simon's call on time] Listen, you fail I cover your ass. I fail you cover my ass!
Zeus Carver: [still sitting in the stolen cab] And if we both fail?
John McClane: [entering the subway station to answer Simon's call on time] Then we're both fucked!

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Simon: [talking to police on speaker phone, in Walter's office] Well, is the ebony Samaritan there, now?
Zeus: You got a problem with ebony?
Simon: No, no. My only problem is that I went to some trouble preparing that game for McClane. You interfered with a well-laid plan.
Zeus: [picks up the phone] Yeah,

well, you can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Zeus: What the fuck are you doin'?
John McClane: Interrogatin' him.
Zeus: Well, what's he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?
John McClane: Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him, am I?

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Zeus Carver: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] Didn't I hear you say you didn't even like your brother?
Simon Gruber: There's a difference, you know, between not liking one's brother and not caring when some dumb Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window.

Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Hard with a Vengeance

Simon: [over the phone with John and Zeus] Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, "Give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in."