Sister Mary Bernard: Money can't buy happiness.
Gabrielle: Sure it can! That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.
Mary Alice: Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness isn't one of them.
Edie: I don't trust friendly women.
Lynette: That's ok, they don't trust you either.
Julie: When was the last time you had sex?
[Susan stops what she is doing]
Julie: Are you mad that I asked?
Susan: No, I'm just trying to remember.
[Rex has asked for a divorce in a family restaurant]
Rex: Are we gonna talk about what I said?
Bree: If you think I'm gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labeled Chicks and Dudes, you are out of your mind.
George Williams: Well... I'll see you, Dr. Van De Kamp.
Rex: Please, you're dating my wife. Call me Rex.
Gabrielle: The only person more self-centred than me is Carlos, he's so self-centred he doesn't even know how self-centred I am.
Mary Alice: An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look.
Bree: How could we have all forgotten about this?
Lynette: We didn't exactly forget. It's just usually when the hostess dies, the party is off.
Susan: What are you smiling about?
Mike Delfino: I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. They were all just answered.
Gabrielle: The way I see it is that good friends support each other after something bad has happened, great friends act as if nothing has happened.
Bree: Well, then, good luck on your remodel.
Edie: [to Bree] You could have an affair with anyone and you choose the pharmacist? You are such a Republican.
Carlos: Hey, Gabby, aren't we breast feeding?
Gabrielle: Oh, honey, if you could swing that one, more power to ya.
Yao Lin: I don't like lies.
Gabrielle: Yeah, well I don't like your ironing. So there.
Gabrielle: Before we got married we made a deal, remember? No kids.
Carlos: Deals are meant to be renegotiated.
Gabrielle: We're not negotiating my uterus.
