Deepwater Horizon Quotes

Jimmy Harrell: The pressure test costs about what, a hundred and fifteen thousand? BP is a thirty three billion dollar company, and you say you can't afford...
Vidrine: That is why we are a thirty SIX billion dollar company, because we worry about all those bills.
Jimmy Harrell: I worry about my rig! My people live on it. You just

rent it!

Jimmy Harrell: Don, you and I both know we need some downtime for maintenance. Mike, how many of our machines need repair?
Mike Williams: Uh... 390, Mr. Jimmy.
Vidrine: 390?
Mike Williams: Yes, sir. Almost ten perecent of all the machinery aboard.
Vidrine: Name a few for me.

Mike Williams: A few?
Vidrine: Mm-hm. I would love to hear exactly what piece of mission-critical equipment are down.
Mike Williams: Shit, where do I start? "A" drilling chair. Process Station 18. BOP control pods. Telephone system. Pipe-racking system. GPS antenna. DirecTV system. Wireless Internet. Iron roughneck. Top drive rack

back system. Auxiliary-draw works control. Salt water service pumps. Smoke alarms in the galley. And the reason why you're sweatin' so hard is 'cause the compressor for the AC on this deck are down, too.
Kaluza: Everything but the toilets, huh?
Mike Williams: No, no, you got problems there, too, but I don't do shitters. That's Engineering.

Vidrine: Who are you?

Sydney: My dad is Mike. He works on a drilling rig that pumps oil out from underneath the ocean.
Mike Williams: No, no, the Deepwater doesn't pump a drop of oil, okay, baby? We're the explorers.
Sydney: So my dad and his friends find the oil. And then put in all the plumbing so other lamer crews can come in...

Felicia: Don't say "lamer".
Mike Williams: [whispering] They are lamer.
[louder]
Mike Williams: Okay, but listen, even those lamer dudes, they don't have to pump anything, remember? Because that oil wants to come rushing up naturally...
Sydney: No, no, no, shh!
Mike Williams: All

right, all right.
Sydney: Because that oil is a monster, like the mean old dinosaurs all that oil used to be. So for 300 million years, these old dinosaurs have been getting squeezed tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter...
Mike Williams: We get it. We get it. Just use two "tighters".
Sydney: 'Cause they got

miles of earth and ocean pressing down on them. They're trapped. Ornery. Then dad and his friends make a hole in their roof.
Mike Williams: [she punctures a soda can] Yeah!
Sydney: And these mean old dinosaurs can't believe it. So they rush up to the new hole. Then, smack. They run into a big machine that he and his friends have down on the ocean

floor called a Big Guy Preventer?
Mike Williams: Blowout Preventer.
Sydney: They run into this stuff called mud...
[pouring honey into the soda can]
Mike Williams: All right, get it in there.
Sydney: ...that they cram down the straw. The mud's so thick and heavy, it blocks the monsters from

coming up. And then they sail away to the next. That's when all the lame-o's show up all happy like they did something.
Felicia: Don't say "lame-o".
Sydney: But it was my daddy who tamed the dinosaurs.
Mike Williams: Yeah!
Felicia: Yeah.
Mike Williams: That was amazing. Stay ten

forever, please.

Felicia: I just had the craziest dream. Wow.
Mike Williams: Wow? Wow. Was I in it?
Felicia: I was... no. I was at a concert, and then on the side of the stage there was this... it was like a two-legged rabbit and...
Mike Williams: Mm, I don't know what part of that is more terrifying.

Felicia: Listen to me. Listen to me. I would move... and then it would mimic everything I was doing.
Mike Williams: Oh, don't tell me any more, because I know where this is going.
Felicia: I think the rabbit was my...
Mike Williams, Felicia: Mother.
Mike Williams:

Yes, I know. Thank you. Now it's my nightmare.

Mike Williams: Might be an ignition problem with your Mustang.
Andrea Fleytas: I was thinking it was maybe fouled plugs.
Mike Williams: Well, it could be a wire. Could be distributor. Does it sound like it's skipping?
Andrea Fleytas: Nope.
Mike Williams: You know what I'm gonna do for

you, young lady? I'm gonna keep thinking about all the expensive things could be wrong with your ride.
Andrea Fleytas: [sarcastic] Gee, thanks.
Mike Williams: Hey, stick shift or automatic?
Andrea Fleytas: Do you know me?
Mike Williams: Oh, you gotta stop grinding the shit out of that clutch. I know

that.
Andrea Fleytas: Oh, yeah. Says Mr. Toyota.

Mike Williams: Hey, you know the passwords, right? Where the insurance stuff is. You know, call Schuman first.
Felicia: What are you talking about?
Mike Williams: I just...
Felicia: What are you on about?
Mike Williams: I just... I just got a little spooked on the go-home chopper last

hitch. It's not... gimme some of that.
Felicia: Babe, the only time you start worrying about a Marine is when he stops bitching.
Mike Williams: Don't use my lines against me.
Felicia: I'm using your lines against you.
Mike Williams: That... don't use my lines.
Felicia: I just

did.

Jimmy Harrell: Listen, you mind losing that tie?
O'Bryan: I would.
Jimmy Harrell: It's not the tie. It's, uh... it's the color.
O'Bryan: Purple?
Jimmy Harrell: Uh... more magenta.
O'Bryan: And?
Jimmy Harrell: Well, magenta alarm on an oil

rig is as bad as it gets. That's worthy of superstition.

Mike Williams: Great news. Chopper didn't crash.
Felicia: Shit, I just assumed and then I re-married.
Mike Williams: Oh, yeah? He rich? Remember what your momma always said...
[in a high-pitched falsetto]
Mike Williams: "Just as easy to marry a rich man, Felicia, honey."
Felicia:

Baby, if I had a nickel for all the dumb shit my mom said, I wouldn't need a rich man.