The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
If I've got a good pinch-hitter, I hate to have him stay on the bench with men on the bases in an early inning. He may end the game right there.
If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army.
The team has come along slow but fast.
Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.
The Yankees don't pay me to win every day, just two out of three.
Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before.
You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight, chances are you ain't gonna get it, and if you do, it ain't worth it.
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
I was a left-handed dentist who made people cry.
You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.
You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right.
Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
Everybody line up alphabetically according to your height.
I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.
No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.
The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.
I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of so many.
The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.
