Store Clerk: Freeze mother bitches.
Mike Lowrey: My shit always works sometimes!
Marcus Burnett: He steals our shit, kidnaps Julie, shoots at my wife. Oh, we beatin' him down. We beatin' him DOWN!
Captain Howard: Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it.
Captain Howard: Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowrey, you be him, that's what you are, you're him.
Marcus Burnett: But I-...
Captain Howard: You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him. And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you.
Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point...
Captain Howard: [Shooting hoops and continuously missing] I was, like, gettin' 'em all in before you showed up.
Mike Lowrey: You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.
Julie Mott: I don't eat flesh.
Marcus Burnett: Say what?
Julie Mott: That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name.
Marcus Burnett: It's just bologna. My bologna has a first name.
Mike Lowrey: Marcus, I just have one question for ya bro. How the hell you gonna leave my ass at a gun fight to go get the car!
Mike Lowrey: [after Marcus outruns Fochet at the airport] Now that's how you s'pose to drive. From now on, that's how you drive!
Mike Lowrey: I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.
Mike Lowrey: [on Captain Howard and Captain Sinclair, having another vicious argument] They should just bone and get that shit over with.
Fouchet: I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don't you?
Casper: Yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself slide.
