Al Franken
Al Franken

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, 'Teacher, sue him.'

Al Franken
Al Franken

I don't know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can't see it.

Al Franken
Al Franken

I listen to NPR when I listen to the radio, but I don't listen to the radio that much. You know, I listen to Garrison Keillor, I listen to 'Prairie Home Companion.'

Al Franken
Al Franken

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.

Al Franken
Al Franken

The institutions that we've built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don't apply to the private sector. The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations. The Freedom of Information Act doesn't apply to Silicon Valley. And you can't impeach Google if it breaks its 'Don't be evil' campaign pledge.

Al Franken
Al Franken

When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.

Al Franken
Al Franken

The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations.

Al Franken
Al Franken

Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.

Al Franken
Al Franken

People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.

Al Franken
Al Franken

We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.

Al Franken
Al Franken

I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks.

Al Franken
Al Franken

I also focus on Bush and his administration - who do a lot of lying - and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn't be able to get away with.

Al Franken
Al Franken

But in the right-wing media, they do have a right-wing bias. And they also have an agenda. So their agenda is: we're an adjunct of the Republican Party, and we're going push that agenda every day, and, as you say, brand these stories that help further the right-wing cause.

Al Franken
Al Franken

Well, I think that there's a value to comedy in and of itself.

Al Franken
Al Franken

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I've had to learn a little bit about it. It's not rocket science: You get ratings, that's good.

Al Franken
Al Franken

The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they've had minor leagues - they've had local rightwing guys who've become national rightwing guys, and who build slowly, and that's how it goes. We haven't had that. It isn't like we have a farm team.

Al Franken
Al Franken

Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure.

Al Franken
Al Franken

The next thing I am doing is moving back home to Minnesota and getting involved in politics. I'm looking at a run for Senate in 2008, but in the meantime I am focused on knitting together the progressive network in the upper Midwest.

Al Franken
Al Franken

If you hear, day after day, liberals are rooting against armed forces, that is eventually going to have an effect on soldiers and troops who are actually going to believe that and it's wrong. It's just wrong.

Al Franken
Al Franken

It's the Power of the Almighty, the Splendor of Nature, and then you.